Why don’t we live the life we want

Being afraid of change and settle for less, than one’s capable of, prevents personal development and feeling of contentment.

Sometimes we are not even aware what we want. It’s easier just to live the life that we are used to and that we “learnt”: from our parents, from friends. We are waiting for validation from the society.

We are just so used to the rat race every day that we think its normal.

Oh and the continuous fear of what if: I lose my job, I lose the one I love, I lose something….The truth is having any kind of stability (in the work, relationship, our status) is an illusion. There is no stability, there are continuous changes. Life can change from one minute to the other, not to talk about changes that happen in a bit longer term. And we are not prepared…

How can we get prepared for unfavorable changes?

First is awareness: to understand that everything can change… It is just a part of life. Practicing awareness will teach to live in the moment, in the now and exploit all opportunities the present moment offers.

Awareness reminds us about the goals we set up and will not let the mind be occupied with unimportant things and tasks: binge watching series, mindless eating, unhealthy relationships.

My step by step guide to change with the help of mindfulness

„When you start going, the road appears.”

1. Start building something that you are passionate about . No matter what: you like drawing, draw or paint. You like knitting- start knitting. Do what you love and build something around it slowly but surely- that you can show the world. It will give you great energy, confidence and no matter how small it is — inner satisfaction can’t be measured. Even if you don’t have the full concept in your mind, just start doing.
2. You come first. Do not pay attention to the others chattering, what you should do generally or in this very moment. Do what you want to do. You want to stay home on a Friday night to work on your own passion and don’t want to go out partying. Stay home. Do not listen to what the others say. Pursue your passion and think how you’ll present it to the world.
3. Talk to a therapist.
4. Talk to people — talk cheerfully and always hear their story. Get new friend, acquaintances with cheerful and positive personality.
5. Chose mentors. Mentors that are close to you (from family , friends , colleagues ) and remote mentors (YouTube and LinkedIn).
6. Journal: journal every day. What you’ve achieved, what you learnt. It will motivate you to do and learn something new every day. Remember - even a small thing, a small baby step will give you a new push and new ideas.
7. Don’t be afraid to fail - I know people say this repeatedly, still fail feels miserable. Sometimes feels miserable for long. I failed many times in my life and I am here. Failures teach us things, if we are opened to learn. And when you walk your path mindfully you will be opened to learn and accept teachings.

Sometimes you just need to talk to a 4-year old and an 84-year old to understand life again. — Kristen Butler